Wednesday, November 5, 2008

An Ode to High Pockets

So in my daily blog hopping yesterday I came across this post by The Jolly Porter. I love his humor. Read his post first and then this rant will make more sense 

.Post Edit: This blog os no longer there but lets just say it was a guy who was surprised when his wife walked into the room with a sharpie pen sticking out of her cleavage...now read on.

My first reaction is that guys just don't get it. To a woman her bra/cleavage is just another pocket. I learned this from a very young age. When I was growing up we went on family road trips caravan style with cousins and grandparents. This was way before cell phone days so each car in our family caravan was equipped with a CB radio.

Everyone in the family had a "handle" or a CB nickname so we knew who we were talking to. My dad was Grumpybear, I was Littlebitz and my mom's handle was High Pockets. She earned this nickname for her uncanny ability to hide her keys, money, etc. in her bra. Whenever we would go somewhere and she didn't want to take her entire purse with her all the necessities went straigh into her high pockets.

Years later I am doing the same thing. I can't count the number of times I have been standing at the gas pump credit card in hand and I realize I am not wearing anything with pockets. Where does the card end up...you guessed it, it goes right into my high pocket.

This can be embarassing when my next stop is the drive through to pick up something quick for dinner between jobs. I place my order, drive around to the window to pay...and THEN I realize that my debit card is not in my wallet...it is in my bra and now I have to discretely dig it out and hand it to zit faced drive through boy.

Oh it gets better. Once I forgot my card was there after coming home from a late night and went straight to bed. I woke up the next morning with my credit card number imprinted on my left breast...nice! It has happened with change too. It is strange to see the heads of presidents imprinted on your skin.

Since we no longer have to use bulky CB radios on road trips I have started putting my cell phone in my high pocket. That way I can crank the music really loud and still know when my phone is ringing. Although it can cause stares when you go into a roadside truck stop and your boobs ring.

The following items have been in my high pocket at one time or another (sometimes more than one of these items are in there together).

Car keys
Cell phone
Money (Bills and change too)
Credit card
Lipstick/gloss
Papers (ie mapquest directions, coupons etc.)
Small toys (where am I supposed to put that dinosaur when the kid insists on bringing it but wont carry it anymore)
Candy
Pens
iPod
Headphones
Crumbs (strange what you find at the end of the day)

So to all the guys out there that wonder why we put things in our bras, it's out of necessity. Pockets are not always available. And if that is my list imagine what she can get into her high pockets



Honestly, you didn't think I was going to post a pciture of my cleavage now did you???

2 comments:

dannette said...

I absolutley love that story. I love your mom's nick name. I'll have to use that!
Hugs, Dannette

Steve Goldner-de Beer said...

Excellent commentary - very funny!